A Shocking Secret About Me…..
Ah yes….it has been awhile since I have been on here sharing my thoughts, feelings, experiences, and even some knowledge. If my mind could automatically post on here, then I would have several posts a day! Unfortunately that is not the case, so today I decided it was time to actually sit down and write a little something.
I’ve thought about writing this post for some time now, but I haven’t because it is something that is very personal for me and is not too easy to describe. So why share it now? Because I feel it may inspire others to face the scary word of FEAR. Yes, FEAR(s). We all have them. Are you aware of your own? Have you, or do you, face them and try to overcome them or do you just push those fears away and simply ignore them or make excuses for them? When do your fears rear their ugly heads? How does that fear feel? I know what all of this feels like, and I still experience it all, which is why I want to share more.
Here is the personal part for me, and it took me many, many years to become more and more aware of how my fears were controlling me and stopping me from moving forward in my life. My personal fears are not one-dimensional. They affect me in different ways, and in different areas of my life. Because I know I have fears, I have become more aware of what the fear(s) feels like, looks like, which has actually helped me face and overcome some of those fears, and THAT is an amazing feeling to feel!
I know I’ve always had fears, but I realized that after my cancer, the fears were gripping me in a new, and very deep ways. Some fears that were obvious to me where the thoughts of:
- My body once again turning on itself and trying to kill me.
- Hearing the words “I’m sorry Trina, but I must give you the news that you have cancer again. And with that, your treatment will require a very aggressive treatment of chemotherapy and radiation.”
- Fear of lying in my bed without the energy or ability to lift my head off of the pillow.
- Fear of feeling my hair fall out of my head and into my hands.
- Fear of people staring at me because it is obvious that I am sick.
But what wasn’t obvious to me, and may indeed be very difficult for me to put into words, was a new fear that was taking over my life, making me scared to live life or take part in activities that before, would have been easy to take on. I noticed this gripping fear, when I would go out for a run. A new doubt began penetrating my mind, numbing me, freezing me. I’ve always been a runner and have always enjoyed running. It was something that was meditative, but had now turned into something viewed as a chore. I really can’t describe it, but it was something that was seeping into my world, and even becoming obvious to Tara.
The liberating part of facing my new truth, was that I was able to talk to Tara about it. On days where I could feel my fear taking over, I would let her know that I was struggling and we would talk through it. I explained there are many times I want to join in on an activity, but stay away because my fear is controlling me. I asked her to help me through those moments, to gently push me through them, because I knew my fears were stopping me from living life fully. These conversations began a little over a year ago, and I’m proud to say that I am learning to do better with facing and moving through my fears. Many a leader has given the advice to “Face your fears, and do them anyway”. I keep this saying in the back of my mind and recall it often.
Ironically enough, around the same time, our company – Juice Plus – came out with a new program challenging people to “Live Life to the Plus+”. I began asking myself – “Am I Living Life to the Plus+? What does this mean to me? What would that feel like? How can I challenge myself to find out what that would be like? Slowly, I began to allow this concept to find its way into my life. Then, about 3 months ago, I went to a Juice Plus Regional Conference, where a speaker shared how he personally was Living Life to the Plus+. He had decided to take on the challenge of doing one new thing a month – something he had never done before – and then keep a diary about the experiences. I LOVED the idea and the concept. So, for the past couple of months, I have added this into my new world of really Living Life to the Plus+, of facing and not allowing my fears to limit me, and of living life with new INTENTIONS. Thus far, each of my experiences have amazed me!
So, as my friend Julie Herbst states: “How can you Live your Life to the Plus+”? What fears can you feel – and do it anyway? What would you do in life if fear was not even an option? What is stopping you from living a much fuller and much more purposeful life? What areas of your life do you need growth in? How amazing will it feel to do something you have always wanted to do, but never actually went through with? Think it’s too late or that you are too old? Maybe those thoughts in and of itself are your limiting beliefs and fears. We all have them – but what really matter’s is – what we do with those FEARS.
Trying to live fearless….and inspire others to do the same…
If Fear is something that you have faced and have overcome, I would LOVE for you to share your experiences. Help others to Live Life to the Plus+ by sharing your story!
If you need inspiration by others who are Living Life to the Plus+ and want to see what they are doing, please visit www.LiveLifetothePlus.com